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It was a gray-scale, weary feeling day. Despite the fact that the sun was shining and she could feel the warmth from it on her shoulders through the window. For a year she had been constructing a plan for leaving this place and a countdown of the months remaining ticked down in her head. This had been a carefully crafted experiment in change where she was now. But it had failed to produce enough joy to entice her to stay. Yes, there was this quirky, charming house that she loved. And the view of the mountains when she drove just a mile or so west. She wondered if this would be the pattern of her life from now on. To move on until she found the balance of joy against pain just right enough to stay. Knowing full well that the balance of these two opposing forces had been achieved within herself, the need to find an external match grew stronger every day.