Sing It!!

Celebrate!

I'll be ringing in the new year in pajamas. With champagne and chocolates close by. Bundled in a cozy blankie with a kitty snuggled up to me. In my big comfy chair with Netflix. Do what you must. Stay warm and safe. 

2020 Plans

I call this giving myself permission to have a fabulous year. Because I can. I certainly fucking can. Also, because of this, I'm shopping for a silk dress in lavender. Maybe just a scarf. Give yourself permission to have a fab year, too. Let's all have a totally fab year.

Update

The smartphone has been activated. I have texted a few people and snapped a few photos. I have not yet actually spoken to anyone on it. I have chosen a ringtone and a text message alert sound. Yesterday I successfully turned all sounds off when I went to a movie. I have installed precisely one app. I have shopped online and purchased a case, car charger, and fancy bluetooth headset for use in the car. In hot pink, purple, and rose gold, respectively, if anyone is interested. The case has a grippy sleeve to help me hold on to the slippery phone and also a wraparound sleeve to protect it when it is in the wilds of my purse. I am finding the stylus to be very manageable for texting and the fingerprint recognition thingy is really cool. I feel a bit sad seeing my old phone sitting idle. We were together a long time, it accompanied me on many an adventure. I suppose what is new now will soon become routine. Because that's how it works. When we lived in Ray, North Dakota I remember our phone number was Jordan 8-3881. In 1960 they named rather than numbered the exchanges. Now I carry a small computer with me. Am I really that old? Yes. But I'm still fabulous, and I don't require goat's blood baths like that loony chick Geillis on Outlander.

It Was a Respectable Hour

To pop the cork on the Christmas Eve champagne.

We All Celebrate the Solstice

Christmas Eve Eve Attire

So soft and fuzzy and warm and toasty. Perfect for an evening in of pie baking and perhaps some wine drinking.

Mismatched Dinnerware, Christmas Edition

A Portobello by Design Christmas kitty teacup paired with a saucer/bread plate from Staffordshire Engravings in the Yuletide pattern. A most festive mismatch, if you ask me. Particularly if you include the placemat.

Here we see Newton being helpful by cleaning out any remaining bits of tea that might be lingering in the bottom of the cup. Because he's always so helpful. Like cats are.

Thank You, Dorothy Parker

So this is why I still want a man in my life!

The Little Old Lady in Lavender Silk
by Dorothy Parker

I was seventy-seven, come August,
I shall shortly be losing my bloom;
I've experienced zephyr and raw gust
And (symbolical) flood and simoom.

When you come to this time of abatement,
To this passing from Summer to Fall,
It is manners to issue a statement
As to what you got out of it all.

So I'll say, though reflection unnerves me
And pronouncements I dodge as I can,
That I think (if my memory serves me)
There was nothing more fun than a man!

In my youth, when the crescent was too wan
To embarrass with beams from above,
By the aid of some local Don Juan
I fell into the habit of love.

And I learned how to kiss and be merry—an
Education left better unsung.
My neglect of the waters Pierian
Was a scandal, when Grandma was young.

Though the shabby unbalanced the splendid,
And the bitter outmeasured the sweet,
I should certainly do as I then did,
Were I given the chance to repeat.

For contrition is hollow and wraithful,
And regret is no part of my plan,
And I think (if my memory's faithful)
There was nothing more fun than a man!
 

Please pardon how crappy this post appears. Not even control/shift/paste is clearing up this mess. I still owe a debt of gratitude to Ms Parker.

Advice

Blessed Winter Solstice

Take a walk on a different path on this longest night of the year. Celebrate the gradual return of light that eventually brings warmth and spring. Sit near the firepit outdoors and contemplate how your small blaze symbolizes that return of light. Bring in evergreen branches and decorate the indoors with their promise of life in the darkest, coldest days of winter. Celebrate!

It's a Brave New World

Behold, the LG Stylo 5 smartphone. I am finally being dragged over the threshold from the stone age to smartphones. Not exactly kicking and screaming, but I will miss referring to my soon-to-be old phone as a dumbphone. It seems that Verizon has not sold nor activated phones of the sort I have since the summer of 2017. I haggled with customer service to get maximum discounts and deals, so we'll see where the final cost comes in. The customer reviews of this phone are stellar, and for me with my compromised fine motor abilities, I was dreading trying to text on a small touch screen. But this baby, as the name indicates, comes with an onboard stylus! Combined with a Swype enabled keyboard I might just manage this transition with a minimum of griping. I may even come to like this new phone and its greater capabilities. I apologize in advance to the customer service people who will have to shepherd me through.   

Yes. You Can

All It's Cracked Up To Be

Are all cracker assortments created equal? Not really, but these are pretty darn close. I happened upon the Trader Joe's version about a year ago and found them to be quite delicious. Since TJ's is an hour round trip from here, when their assortment box of crackers was gone, I opted for the King Sooper's version which is only two blocks away. Three of the four varieties are the same, with TJ's fourth being a cracked pepper crisp and KS's Private Selection is a buttery round cracker. People go crazy for Trader Joe's private brands and sometimes try to discover their sourcing to find a substitute. I'm guessing these crackers roll out of the same factory and get packaged in slightly different boxes. If pressed to choose a favorite, the cracked pepper crisp tilts my preference toward the TJ's assortment while availability pushes me toward the Private Selection box. The thing is, TJ's cracker assortment is about two bucks cheaper than the local one! I won't make the trip just for the crackers, but now I buy two boxes when I do go with a longer shopping list. Wine and cheese are made that much better a pairing when you have the right cracker. Not to mention a little tuna or egg salad on the veggie variety. I'm stopping now. 

He's Heeeeeeeeere! Again

Remember this? It seems the CAP has followed us to Colorado. Nothing like a seasonal poltergeist to bring the holiday spirit* to the table.

*Intentional pun. I apologize.

I'll Be Home

Another Christmas. Another house. In a town and a state I left three and a half years ago. The couch and the coffee table and the little red cabinet are long gone. Though the Santas hang on my front door here. The white candle and place mat under it are currently brightening up my bathroom. The print on the wall now resides in my dining room. The lamp is in the guest bedroom downstairs. I still have the stockings draped over the back of the couch but the pillow didn't make the cut when I purged half of my holiday decorations. I miss my pretty boy Steinie. He's lounging in the corner of the couch with his left front paw slung ever so casually across the arm. And my Newton is crouched on the curve of the coffee table, cooperating more than he usually does for the camera. This December marks my fourth Christmas in my Colorado home, coming in second right behind the one pictured where thirty holiday seasons were celebrated. The remaining twenty-eight divided up amongst the thirty or so other addresses I lived previously. So much packing up and leaving, only to arrive and leave once again so soon. I've had to learn the roots thing on my own, from scratch, and hope to be where I am for a good many years. While I was growing up I thought traipsing around the country like purposeless vagabonds was the norm. I've been happy to discover a new normal as an adult. One of settling in and staying.  

What Was Lost is Found

Can a person really have too many snowmen? My answer is a resounding no! Though at over fifty in my collection, I've become more discriminating as far as new additions are concerned. It's more difficult to find a unique one, a snowman that is significantly different from the ones I already have.

This is Sparky, the largest of my snowmen. At about 20 inches tall he gets his own spot on the floor between the hoya and last year's poinsettia.

These plates arrived last year. I'm a sucker for anything in cobalt blue so these fellas just had to come home with me. I found another new snowman last year. But I set it aside so stealthily I did not find him until yesterday when I decided to clean the laundry room.

Just feast your eyes on this adorable guy! A tropical snowman! It just doesn't get more oxymoronic than that! With his little straw hat, pearly embellishments, and seashell nose he's as cute as he can be. Not to mention the sandbox in his belly that can be shaken up to rearrange his tiny internal beach. So glad to have found him! I feared I had tossed him out when I had merely put him away too well. Now to find the perfect spot to display him.

Now You're Just Showing Off

Just Do It

Will & Grace & Frankie

It's a mashup of gay and straight people. Some of them drink too much, some of them are over-the-top weird, some of them have a ridiculous amount of money, some of them are lawyers. It's a bi-coastal situational comedy where some characters unexpectedly become platonic roommates and others get married to each other. There are a lot of jokes about hair and hair products. Ice cream and sushi are abundant and gluten-free and vegan options are available. I'm not quite ready for the pitch meeting but I just know this will be so great! 

My Cat is Weird

Newton has demonstrated two new food preferences this week. Mashed potatoes. But only my homemade ones, not the kind that come from the store ready-made. And just this evening, guacamole. Weird, right? What self-respecting feline likes guac? This one, it seems. 

Confirmation

Season 1, Episode 9, The Invitation

Guess what I'm watching on Netflix! C'mon, the photo is a big fat clue. Dingdingdingding! We have a winner! Yes, I'm watching Grace and Frankie. As shown, Grace is attempting to teach Frankie how to fold a fitted sheet into a neat, rectangular package. Frankie, not quite catching on, remarks, "anyone who can do this is a powerful witch!", and gives up. Throws in the towel sheet, so to speak. The thing is, I've known how to accomplish this feat for years. My mom taught me and I made a small variation that I thought made it easier to do. Which means, obviously, that my mother was a witch, and furthermore, so am I. Pardon me while I go check the cauldron. 

Failed Novel Idea

Turns out, you need more than a great title.

Countdown!

Please do not call, ring my doorbell, or expect me to pay the slightest bit of attention to you on December 10th. Season 3 of Outlander arrives on Netflix on that day. Jamie, how I've missed you.

Seizing The Day

Deanna.......................Moi.........................Linda

Nine years ago today I was in Colorado. I stopped off in Windsor to hang out with Deanna on my way back from Tucson to home in South Dakota. I met Linda the evening this photo was snapped, we got together for some wine and cheer at Deanna's house. This was the weekend when I decided I wanted to move back to the state of my birth. I was driving west and coming up to the top of a hill on highway 392, it was seeing the mountains that did it. The view was breathtaking! The majestic Rockies capped with snow against the backdrop of a clear, deep blue sky was so beautiful. Right then and there I began formulating a plan and gave myself five years to make it happen. The only time I have ever done that! It took five and a half years to get here, selling my house in SD took a bit longer than anticipated. Now I've been in Greeley for three and a half years. It's been a big adjustment but a welcome one. I love this quirky little house and the neighborhood. And if I ever tire of the spectacular mountain views when I drive west someone needs to slap me. 

A Very Happy Christmas Cactus

Endless Supply

It occurs to me that I have owned my Outback for twelve and a half years. And in that time I have never, not even once, refilled the windshield washer fluid tank. Never. Is there some little known experiment where Subaru has tinkered with alchemy? Rendering my car able to simply distill this magical juice out of thin air? If so, I think they have discovered the key to perpetual motion. And for the good of mankind, they must make it available to all. Thank you, Subaru! I await your reply.

In South Dakota It Was Often Freezer Space

Newton Sort of Napping

Winter weather doesn't bother Newton one bit. Here he is lazing on the couch in my office with his guardian pink flamingo watching over him. We all need a guardian pink flamingo, that's what I always say. 

Forgiveness Is Freeing

Testifying

Logo art by Elise Carlton

I can't believe how long it has taken me to get around to writing about something that I love so much! But that's the way it is with podcasts. They politely sit there and wait for you to come back to them. Podcasts neither scold nor chastise, they wait patiently. So. On this first cold, wintry night of November I have returned to pick up where I left off with Sunday School Dropouts. Which was Hebrews. And was once more taken in by the humor and intelligence with which hosts ex-Christian Lauren O'Neal and non-believing sort-of-Jew Niko Bakulich approach the material. Which is The Bible. Yes children, the Bible. Each week they take a book of the Bible, occasionally with a guest who adds an extra element to the discussion, and deconstruct, critique, and eventually rate it in a most creative and entertaining fashion. As a person who has read the Bible cover to cover, the Old Testament once and the New Testament twice, I enjoy getting a new slant on material that is revered and often taken as literal by Christians around the world. I count myself as an agnostic after being raised, baptized, and confirmed in the Lutheran faith. Somehow those teachings just didn't take on me. I had too many questions left unanswered, or merely answered in a brush-off fashion by being told I should pray about it or that I needed to have faith. I realize now that my Sunday school teachers had little or no special training. They were just moms and dads from the congregation who volunteered and had a workbook to go by. I must have been a real pain in the ass. Even when I was still in high school I was aware that the Bible had been written principally in three languages, Greek, Hebrew, and Aramaic, and was written four hundred years after the most recent events in it had occurred. That it had been heavily edited under the influence of royalty and the politics of the day within the church. I didn't believe and for a number of years felt that my lack of belief was a personal and spiritual failure. I did work through it, though, and since then have been interested in approaching the Bible in a purely intellectual way for its historical aspects and how it informs and influences the different flavors of Christianity. I adore Sunday School Dropouts! From the theme music composed and performed by host Niko to the cigarette smoking dove on the logo to the absolutely cute without being cutesy banter between hosts Lauren and Niko! I recommend it to anyone looking for a new perspective on an ancient topic.

Friendship

I have a new friend on Facebook. The friend request first appeared back in March. Since I did not know this person and we had no mutual friends, I sent her a private message stating this and asked why she had sent me the friend request. She has not answered in the ensuing months but yesterday I accepted the friend request, mostly out of curiosity. Now that her posts appear in my feed, I'm getting to know her a little better. Consider this gem.

Hmmm. It's clear that at least on this particular issue that we disagree. So I posted a comment.

Donald Trump is a liar, a mysogynist, a serial sex offender, and a cheap conman. He has used his position as President for his own personal gain and has damaged our democracy and our position as a world leader. Rather than "draining the swamp" as he promised, he has filled it with cronies and sycophants, often in exchange for personal favors. Anyone who continues to support him is either a fool or has gained monetary benefit from the policies he has pushed through. He deserves impeachment and removal from office and eventually must be punished for his crimes.

I expect this will inspire numerous verbal assaults, but I stand by it. And I do wonder how long this person and I will remain "friends". I certainly have been unfriended for less.

Not My Monkeys

It's a Closet!

Remember this dreary nook in the hallway?

 A little paint, some baseboard, and shelves for baskets and towels. All that's left to do is install the door and put things away.

Just for fun I added some fancy ceramic hardware.

So much room for putting things away! I do love getting organized. I've been dreaming of putting a closet in this space since I moved in three and a half years ago.

On the floor we have room for a laundry hamper and a handy step-stool. Some of us are vertically challenged and need a little help reaching that top shelf. This was a fun project to work on, I completed it in about a week. A good project is a finished one, that's what I always say.

No Evil Here, Folks

Move along.

The Last Tomato From This Year's Garden

It was delicious.

573PH3N H4WK1NG 15 PHUNNY

Another sign of intelligence is a terrific 53N53 of humor.

Proto-Closet

In my opinion, the only wall that needed to be built this year was between the sunroom just off the kitchen and the hallway. There is another door from the dining room, and I have had this space blocked off with a screen since I moved in. Since this is the year of projects, I thought it was time to get this done.

Not so pretty on the backside! This is the niche in the hallway created by the wall that will soon be my hall closet. I have everything necessary for completion, shelves and supports, paint, a door, and baskets to organize things so I have no excuse. Soon. Soon. Perhaps I will nudge myself solidly enough this week to get it done. Just to the right of the closet space are the original hall cupboards that just didn't offer enough room for towels and other linens and stuff I've been storing in the basement that would be much more conveniently accessed up here. Another positive aspect of closing off this space is how quiet it is! My little suite of rooms feels very private now that it isn't open to the kitchen and sunroom. A screen and some plants do not a proper wall make. Or something.

More Deliciousness, Please

Okay. I found a graphic of it so I now know it wasn't just some midsummer fantasy of the absolutely tastiest conglomeration in a single bag I have ever experienced. Mini Reese's cups. Reese's Pieces. Roasted peanuts. And tiny salted pretzel nuggets. I only found it once, but now, thanks to the internets, I can find it again. I give thanks and gratitude to the gastronomic gods that made this all possible.

Hello, Old Man

Leaves still clinging to the aspen. It's not cold enough for the snow to stick to the sidewalk. The last few tomatoes ripening on the kitchen windowsill, keeping company with a rescued basil plant and cuttings from my hoya beginning to root out. I'm grateful for my morning cup of tea and the fleecy jammies keeping me warm. The snow will be gone by tomorrow and a good long stretch of autumn will follow. I do love this time of year.   

Teacup of the Month

Bats, a jack o' lantern, a broom, festive spider webs, and a kitty in a witch hat that looks a lot like my Newton. Drink up!