It's Just So Damn Permanent

I've had suicide on my mind. As in thinking about it as a phenomenon, not committing it. And the thought I can't shake is this. Suicide is the ultimate act of selfishness. Not judging here, just observing. And it seems to me that those who are considering offing themselves have got to be suffering with unbearable pain. Because should they go through with their plans they leave innumerable unanswered and unanswerable questions. They leave behind people who loved them. People who helped them through difficult times. And one of those people will likely have the misfortune and agony of finding the body. I don't have a solution. Not even a suggestion or a bit of advice. Just sad over the loss of so many individuals who couldn't find enough light to hang on for one more day. Which makes me grateful for the rays of light in my own life. For the things that I find joy in. And for whatever optimism or stubborn streak I possess that tells me I will not go quietly. Can I exit gracefully even if I'm kicking and screaming? Let's be kind, as Plato admonishes us, for everyone we meet is fighting a great battle.