Indeed. What is in a voice. It's your own personal imprint. As unique as your fingerprints, your smile, the network of bloodvessels on your retina, your DNA. When I called my sister-in-law last night, I whispered a hushed little prayer that she would answer. Mostly because I really wanted to talk to her. I needed to hear her voice and to hear her laugh. But also because my brother's voice still asks you to leave a message if there is no answer. My dear brother who died a mere five weeks ago. Hearing that recording is both comforting and chilling. Because of its familiarity. And because of the stark realization brought forth that I will never hear his voice live again. Only in recordings. Pam picked up and we talked for an hour and a half. We laughed, and there were tears. And I have this growing feeling that he is taking me on a personal journey. Of connection and reconnection and sorting out the where I am from where I want to be. And of voices. I have this remarkable ability to recognize voices and identify them. From documentary narration to commercial voice overs to voice actors, I often nail the correct identity within just a few words. I don't know if this makes me more sensitive to the nuances of the human voice. It certainly influences the music I prefer to listen to. An interesting voice, speaking or singing, gets my attention and engages me. An aggravating voice, either by how it actually sounds or my association of the voice with a person I don't care for, can make me want to run and hide. Which brings me around to considering a new voice that I heard for the first time just an hour or so ago. He's interesting and kind of goofy, pleasant to look upon. He's artistic and intelligent and thoughtful. All very good things. But his voice puts me off. And I can't really figure out precisely why. Except to say that it isn't a voice that I would enjoy hearing in the dark or whispering good morning. It isn't a voice that would translate well over the phone. So I am left wondering if the sound of a voice is a dealbreaker as far as a potential relationship goes. Is this a superficial brush-off on my part? Can something I find initially off-putting grow on me if there are many positives to balance it out? I'm not looking for perfection, but I am much better at knowing myself than I ever have been before. Everyone has their dealbreakers and they are as individual as the individual in question. And it would seem that I have discovered that a voice that falls harshly upon the ears is one of mine.
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3 comments:
Hey I also have a sister named Pam. She prefers to be called Pamela though.
My opinion may not be popular with a lot of people, but here it is: I think that if you are still totally turned off by his voice after three phone calls, it should be a deal breaker. It isn't superficial at all. Finding somebody's voice unpleasant could be a warning sign from your guts to you and I don't think it should be ignored.
You're such a lovely woman. No need to settle for someone that you don't feel completely comfortable with.
I hope you're having a good weekend. xox Lisa
I agree with TF. The voice is wrong now, it will be wrong later. Trust your intuition, always!
The inner voice aversion cannot be ignored. I'm paying attention!
TF, my brother always called his wife Pamela. It suits her, she is a genuine Tennessee-born southern belle. It feels odd to refer to her as my sil, she feels like a sister to me.
Ed, I adore you! You always give me the right on stuff. Thanks.
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