Why didn't I listen to my inner voice?
Why did I let a beguiling voice derail my trust in my own judgment?
Why is this learning curve so goddamn steep?
Please, somebody shoot me or lock me in my room or put me in a straight jacket should I contemplate internet dating ever again! First, I am embarrassed and ashamed at my own shallow behavior. I needed to listen to what he was saying and not be distracted by the poor quality rendering of his recorded voice. Because everything else was there. I still hope to meet him face to face, even though at this moment I don't think I deserve to have a chance with him. And as if I couldn't feel any shoddier, I'm owning up to hoping that his current relationship is less than satisfactory because I'd like a shot at redemption. Secondly, I listened raptly to a mellifluous voice rather than my inner voice of caution that was telling me that something about this guy isn't adding up. He was charming. He was funny. He completely disarmed and distracted me. Until I asked what I thought was a perfectly reasonable and innocent question. To which he responded with such anger and umbrage that I was completely stunned. It was the stark contrast of his last communication with me compared to six weeks of bantering and flirting via email and on the phone that I was doing my best to process and make sense of. And finally, I listened to my inner voice of caution that had been telling me from the very beginning that something wasn't quite right. There were clues in his Facebook communications that I ignored until yesterday. And in the wee hours of this morning I finally Googled just the right combination of his name. And came to an understanding of why my glib and innocent question struck such a nerve with him. Somehow I have been rescued from potential disaster by my smart-ass, inquisitive nature. Not one of my better qualities, but one that I'm grateful for on this rainy and chilly morning.
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4 comments:
Better safe now than hurt later. It ain't easy.
I'm still shaking. And I wish it was the caffeine.
Geez! That guy like a serial killer or what? I'm really glad you found out sooner than later. I once had to step between an obsessed "ex" with a huge criminal past (all violent) and the girls of his dreams. He had a knife. Sometimes my experience with the Marines in Viet Nam and all that martial arts training comes in handy. The guy got 15 years. He's pretty lucky I didn't kill him. There were children present and that saved him from becoming coyote food. I gave him to the cops.
Just questionable enough. He was so sweet and charming that I let stuff slide. I feel like an idiot. Let's just say I found information that made me very uncomfortable. When we have an opportunity to chat I'll give you all the gruesome details!
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