Words of Wisdom

My mother told me many, many things while I was growing up. Some of it was reasonable and had a real application in everyday life. Some of it was downright puzzling to me but I solemnly gazed at her and tried really hard to appear as though what she was saying was somehow comprehensible to me. She often spoke in platitudes, parables, and often popped up with things she called "old wives' tales". These OWT's had an ominous tone and predicted certain outcomes in your future life depending upon your current behavior. Sort of a Murphy's Law action-yielding-outcome filtered through cronish folklore. If you sang at the table you'd be married before you were able. That sort of thing. She had dozens of them. I never knew if she was serious but I took the instruction to heart just in case. The summer before I left for college she said there were three things I should always remember. I was afraid she was going to explain where babies come from, which I had already figured out on my own. These three things were, that I should never, never get a tattoo. That I should never, under any circumstances, marry a black man. And that I should always wash the whites in a separate load. I was dumbfounded. This was all I needed to go forth in the world and succeed! I wondered how she knew I had been contemplating getting a tattoo. I wouldn't actually get one for 25 years, but I was astonished to think she had some mind-reading powers. The not marrying a black man still mystifies me. For the most part I was raised in North Dakota and had only seen black men on television and in movies. Where did she think I was going to find one let alone marry one? The laundry information has been valuable and the only practical third of the advice I have been able to put into regular practice. As I send my sons out into the world, these are the three things I have told them. Floss. Use an spf 30 sunscreen. Laugh every day. These things are all very practical and easy to incorporate into your life. But I hope the third one is the one they always remember to do.