Hey, Oscar!

I can't believe I'm watching the Academy Awards. I haven't actually sat down and watched an awards show of any kind for years, and I haven't watched the Oscars since I was a teenager. I've had the Oscars or the Grammies or Golden Globes tuned in and the tv turned on a number of times but haven't felt compelled to sit and watch. I just had it on in the background in case something interesting happened. Maybe I just tuned in to ABC to get my Desperate Housewives fix and stumbled on an awards show by accident and couldn't stop looking! Sshhhh...Celine Dion is singing! It's a world premiere song! But somehow it sounds like every other Celine Dion song. I want those agile behind the screen people, Ellen said that they're naked, to tumble around again and do a shadow puppet representation of a nominated film title! Now the honorary Oscar winner, an elderly man speaking in Italian, is being translated by Clint Eastwood, who has now also become an elderly man. I must confess I saw a grand total of three movies at a theatre in the year 2006. So I'm deeply happy that one of them, Pirates of the Caribbean, Dead Man's Chest, has won an Oscar. I think it was for Sound Mixing or Totally Bizzare Accomplishments With Make-Up Effects. But the most amazing thing of all is that Al Gore has gone Hollywood! He's cool, he's funny, he's smart and he's managed to make the world sit up and take notice of perhaps the un-sexiest problem that faces our planet. Global warming. Whether you believe it's real or not, I happen to think it is a very real problem, the fact that it's getting some attention will force us to make better decisions regarding the use of fossil fuels where it counts. In our nation's esteemed capital. I don't know that I want an Oscar or that I will ever do anything worthy of nomination, although I do have a costume design credit on a verrrrry limited distribution DVD of an original musical play, but I sure would like to have a designer gown. And then someplace to wear it. And then the grace and aplomb to walk in three inch Manalo Blahnik heels. I only hope that Jennifer Hudson can get through this musical number without a costume malfunction. And even though I'm not a member of the Academy, Beyonce gets my vote for best dress.