I have reconciled to the fact that it's over and whatever small wound was dealt has healed.
For me, the problem is leaving so many what-ifs dangling. I'll likely never know if I would have been, as you say, selling short.
We all arrive with some baggage, particularly at this point in life. There may be dealbreakers in there, maybe not. I'm fortunate enough to be well acquainted with my own and to know what I'll tolerate from another.
It seems the ones who need love and affection the most are the ones who push it away the hardest, often after opening the door just enough to let you halfway in. It takes enormous courage to be vulnerable with another human being. Often you are giving them ammunition that they could use to hurt you later. Trust isn't easy to come by.
For me, the problem is leaving so many what-ifs dangling. I'll likely never know if I would have been, as you say, selling short.
We all arrive with some baggage, particularly at this point in life. There may be dealbreakers in there, maybe not. I'm fortunate enough to be well acquainted with my own and to know what I'll tolerate from another.
It seems the ones who need love and affection the most are the ones who push it away the hardest, often after opening the door just enough to let you halfway in. It takes enormous courage to be vulnerable with another human being. Often you are giving them ammunition that they could use to hurt you later. Trust isn't easy to come by.
Which got me thinking about my expectations from a man, and a list I made over a year ago. There I go thinking again, but I still think this is a pretty accurate description of what kind of male company I would prefer to keep. Applications are currently being accepted for those who feel they qualify.
1. Talk to me. Not just to fill the quiet, but to share what's going on in your head. No one is a mind reader, and no one should be expected to be. Share with me your deepest and darkest places and trust that I will not judge you.
2. Accept me. For the ever passionate, deeply flawed, relentlessly optimistic, work-in-progress human that I am.
3. Never hold back. I can take it! I am resilient and strong. I am capable of growth and accommodation. Do this out of kindness rather than anger.
4. Fuck my brains out. Regularly.
5. Miss me when we're apart. Be with me in the moment when we're together.
6. Appreciate me. Bring me a flower once in a while. Cook a meal. Tell me I'm pretty. Kiss me often. Hold my hand. Be generous.
7. Love me, love me, love me. And trust that as you do these things for me, I will do them for you in return.
