Price of Admission

Divorce changes everything. And at some point, after the shouting has died down, the damage has been dealt with, and everything from household items to friends to time with the children has been divvied up, life takes on a new routine and a new normalcy. I'm five years into this new life, but there are some things from the old life that I miss terribly. His side of the family has been the big one for me. My separation from the people who were my extended family for over twenty years has proved most difficult and painful to resolve. Time has a way of marching on, and as it does occasions arise that draw us together once more. These re-introductions have been a little awkward. But for the most part, everyone has behaved, allowing our connections to slowly but surely make a comeback. And I have hope that these bonds, though never really broken, will continue to grow stronger. Feelings inevitably are put on hold for that moment when the statute of limitations on marital crimes expires. For some, that moment will never arrive. The need to place blame and the inability to forgive and forget belongs to them. My feeling is that my ex and I have been able to reach a truce and move on with our lives. And if we can, the pair who were most injured, most heartbroken, most devastated by the end of our marriage, then it's time those on the periphery do so as well. It will never be the same, but certainly we can find new ways to redefine and reforge these relationships for the future. The price of admission to this extended family was my marriage. A marriage that no longer is, but traces of it remain, and always will.