Saturday, October 27, 2012

I Try To Be Amused

Truth be told, I don't have to try. I genuinely am. Totally, flat out amused. And wonder if this crap works on some women. I have discovered that unbridled laughter is more effective than the kind attempt to let them down easy. When you laugh, they leave. I also enjoy admonishing them to go home and work on a better line that might actually work. As in, hun, do yourself a favor and beef up your pick-up skill set. Maybe I should carry a stash of report card forms, then I could just fill in the blanks and grade them on the spot. That would be fun. Last night I would have given the man in question an F for his attempt at having his way with me. It was around midnight and I was preparing to depart. Putting my coat on must have triggered his sense of desperation that I might be about to slip away. He assured me that his day was pretty full tomorrow but that he really didn't have much going on until eight or so in the morning, and he was willing to devote the ensuing hours entirely to moi! Oh, and he also had a room at the Super 8! Tantalizing as this offer was, I laughed just a little, assured him I hadn't had such a clever proposition in nearly a week, walked to my car and drove home. And it was true. The part about it being less than a week since I'd been so unimaginatively solicited. Last Saturday night Andrea and I were enjoying a girls night out after taking in the play, The Nerd, presented by State University Theatre. Drinking wine and flirting shamelessly is so much fun. I do admit that we stayed out until closing time. Which I normally try to avoid, as the action of turning on the lights in the previously mostly darkened bar completely destroys any vestiges of mystery or romance that might have been lingering about. Just as the lights came up, we were approached by a very drunk and very friendly young man who expressed an interest in taking both of us home. And seemed to actually think we would say yes. Andrea and I turned to each other, then looked directly at him and said no thanks. But he persisted. Really, he was capable of satisfying both of us, he has experience with two women at a time. We laughed and sent him on his way, advising him to come back in ten years and try again when he knew something. I would have given him a D for the actual come-on, but an A for the sheer audacity of thinking he could please two women when he was barely capable of walking. Maybe ten years isn't long enough. I was amused.


colleen said...

You sure do manage to find some "interesting" men! Do the freaks just come out of the woodwork when you head out for a night on the town? YIPES!!

Bellona of Avalon said...

Colleen, you've been out with me and observed this phenomenon!

All kinds seem to be attracted to my aura, and depending on the friends I'm with, those drawn to me vary accordingly.

Frequently the freaky and/or creepy encounters are more interesting to write about. Most of the sweet and pleasant ones I prefer to keep to myself.

colleen said...

Yep, I've seen it!

I swear you're like some sort of magnet ... but it seems to attract the freaks, as well. I wonder if there's some sort of "tune up" that might fix that problem?!

Bellona of Avalon said...

A "tune up" might be in order if we were to assume the problem lies with me!

I prefer to think that I'm terribly irresistible to all kinds! It's a test of my personal filters to make sure they are functioning properly. Keeps me sharp!