Epilogue

All I wanted to do a couple of nights ago was read my father's obituary. I can't say why, only that I felt a what-if or two dangling since his death in February. So I googled his name. I searched all sorts of online memorial sites and newspapers in the vicinity of where he had lived. Nothing. It seems no one cared enough to write one and submit it. Many newspapers charge to print an obit, with the exception of a brief notice that includes the time and place of a memorial service or funeral. I suppose I could contact Lamar County in Mississippi, I expect they write up and file all sorts of official documents. Those pertaining to births and deaths and marriages. But I won't. I'm reasonably certain that ole dad had not figured out some sort of elaborate plan around being escorted off by the grim reaper. He told me many times in recent years that he had a will and how he was going to have it amended so my younger son and I would receive some promised possessions that he had. I'm not holding my breath. My father saying that he had a will was likely just something he said. Any of the remaining family who were still in contact with him in the months preceding his death had to deal with disposing of what he still had, and they are welcome to any remaining cash or items he left behind. They earned it. Interestingly, I found him on a genealogy website where neither my mother nor the four of us who were the product of their marriage were listed. But Patricia Lucille Hoeppner was listed there. It seems she married my father on February 23, 1983. She is now deceased so there will be no answers there. Funny how I expected that my father's death would finally lay to rest all that was associated with him. The lies, the broken promises, the disappointment. If anything, there are more questions. And if no one who was somewhat close to him in the last few years he was alive cared enough to pay for publishing an obituary, I can't say I care enough to find answers for my questions.