Nice Work if You Can Get It

This thought has been rattling about in my head for a couple of days. Despite all this rattling and rumination, I still haven't come up with a coherent way of expressing it. Sometimes there's no getting around the fact that sitting down and typing is probably the only way to find the words. With a little luck maybe even a little eloquence will find its way in, and my thanks for bearing with me if you're still reading. Here goes. A friend's twentysomething son landed in a somewhat unlikely job opportunity a few months back. He auditioned for a well known exotic dance troupe that tours all over the world. This has been an occasional topic of conversation that almost always produces some raised eyebrows as well as good natured elbows to the ribs and a lot of joking remarks. Yes, the young man in question is college educated. And, obviously, yes, he is very handsome and very fit and loves to dance. When I met him, my impression was that he is thoughtful, well grounded and kind and has a great sense of humor. He has that somewhat indefinable solid, decent midwest-raised air of wholesomeness about him. He consulted his parents to get their thoughts on the job before he committed to it. His family is proud of him and clearly entertained by his current occupation. They don't hesitate to talk about it if the subject arises. It's all very open and healthy and almost ordinary that he dances scantily clad in a very erotic manner for the pleasure of his mostly female audience. And it is with the utmost honesty and complete lack of judgement that I relate this story. So this is what I struggle with. I wonder if the situation would be equal in every respect if it were a daughter rather than a son. I'm thinking likely not. The double standard is alive and well in so many aspects of our culture. Which concerns me as a feminist, a woman and a mother. Choosing to place yourself squarely in the light of sexual objectification feels like so what/wink-wink fun if the dancer in question is a man. If it's a woman, it seems like an immediate judgment of character with automatic assumptions about her morality and sexual proclivity. Do I think this because I'm a product of the culture I was raised in? Or is it an unbiased observation of that culture? I suppose this subject falls somewhere on the continuum of gender equality and and how it affects societal and sexual stereotypes. I realize I haven't made a point, just resurrected one of those eternally ponderable questions. Like I said, I'm struggling. Talk amongst yourselves.