BMR

Barbie has a last name! And it's not Doll! Nor is it Mattel! Her full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts. And the only guy at the table tonight knew her middle name! Oy. But none of us knew her last name. Her parents are George and Margaret and she hails from the fictional town of Willows, Wisconsin. If she had ever gotten around to marrying Ken, she would have been Barbara Millicent Roberts Carson. And been known among her friends as BarCar. She really should have seen a podiatrist years ago for her nasty case of Achilles tendinopathy. Or married one. We do know that Ken's father, Carl, was a doctor but I have no idea what variety of doc he might have been. All I know is, Barbie's full name is likely going to be one of the mantras I'll be repeating on my deathbed. More interesting than Rosebud, if you ask me.