Open Houses and Dating Manners

The house next door is for sale. (cute guy!! single!! the list!!) And for the second time in as many weeks, there was an open house there this afternoon. Which explains why my neighbor was out in the yard yesterday. Not merely mowing, mind you, but sweeping the sidewalks and driveway afterwards. I almost went. Just to be nosy and check out the decorating. And to see if there is any updating to justify the exorbitant initial asking price. Which has dropped considerably. And I just know that every second he is out in his yard, the neighbor guy is thinking that I'm an insufferable slob as far as lawn grooming is concerned. That if his house does not sell soon for a price that makes him happy, that it may very well be due to the fact that I engage in casual yard maintenance. There could be other factors as well. I have pink flamingoes in my yard. I have an anatomically correct garden statue named Edgar. But he is quite well behaved and respects the property lines. Yes, the raking and mowing has been somewhat delayed due to cold, damp weather and my inherent tendency toward procrastination. But wouldn't it be wrong, wrong, wrong for me to dupe potential future neighbors (cute guy!! single!! the list!!) into thinking I'm a yard work fanatic who is obsessed with keeping a perfectly manicured yard? Only to find out that in reality I'm nothing more than a casual gardener with a slightly brown thumb? That would be like adopting an uncharacteristic manner involving sweetness, no swearing, excessive cheeriness and a quiet, non-threatening demeanor just to get asked out on a date. Approximately halfway through the evening he would discover that I'm an irreverent pottymouth who laughs too loudly and scares the crap out of a less than stouthearted fellow. Nope. I staunchly refuse to polish and refine my yard upkeep routine or resort to dating manners. I simply would never be able to keep up the ruse long enough. Not even for a cute, single guy who fits my list that might buy the house next door. The way I figure it, people ought to know what they're getting into from the very beginning. That just makes it easier on everyone involved. Especially me.