Sunday, January 27, 2013


Does one-on-one count as an intervention? Must the interventioners outnumber the interventionee? No matter. I'm not terribly certain it will happen at this point. There is nothing scheduled, there is no clever ploy in play to lure the person in question to a meeting they might prefer to not attend. So. I have struggled with what I should do for my friend who has a serious problem with drinking alcohol. I have already determined what not to do. Counting drinks doesn't work. I don't enjoy babysitting another adult. Taking away the car keys is effective only as short term solution. Endless discussions over the same issues that lead to excessive drinking have accomplished nothing. Suggesting counseling for these issues when my solicited advice has not sufficed has not been productive. Four years this has gone on. And on. And on. I thought the DUI would be a wake-up call. I thought the court ordered drug and alcohol counseling would bring about an aha! moment of enlightenment. But no. A month ago, after the most recent incident of overimbibing, I made a decision. The only one that makes sense to me now is to remove myself from the equation. No more drink counting, no more babysitting, no more feeling responsible for confiscating the keys. I am choosing to decline the pleasure of her company if the consumption of alcohol is involved. Because I'm exhausted. Most days, it's enough of a chore keeping my own bad-ass, smart-ass self in line. When I fail at this undertaking I do my level best to own it and go about repairing any damage. Then I try to find a different lesson invoking activity to try. I hate that doomed to repeating myself til I get it right thing. It's time for the other grownup at this metaphorical one-on-one intervention to do the same.


L'il Sister said...

Don't give up!! Participate in an intervention.
Make the effort, get the family and spouse involved Carla.
I realize it is easy to advise from a distance but I have been praying for this person and this may possibly be the answer.
If you have ever watched any episodes of "Intervention" on A&E it can be a messy, uncomfortable, sad, heartwarming, rejoicing and ultimately life changing experience.
I'll keep praying your the both of you.

Bellona of Avalon said...

I haven't given up. I've simply chosen what I will and will not do at this point.

If someone is determined to continue their self-destructive behavior even an intervention won't be successful. We'll see what the next few days bring about.

L'il Sister said...

I wouldn't agree with your supposition regarding self-destruction. But that's another conversation.
My guess is you are hoping/betting the individual in question will read your blog. Right?

AndiBean said...

With such a close community as your present town is, I worry about potential repercussions from this blog post. I hope that the person this is directed to sees this as a wake-up call instead of as a rejection. Your craft as a writer has lent your words here an extra force and edge with their careful timing. Having been on the opposite end of such a post in the past, I can sympathize with how the subject may be feeling right now.

To said subject:
You are lovely and creative, and with your recent struggles we can all see a quiet resolve in you that can and will get through this in a healthy and productive manner. You simply need to believe in yourself, and know that your friends are standing by, ready to help as soon as you make the conscious decision to change your outlook and your behavior. I do not know you well, but even as an acquaintance I do care about you very much. Please take care of yourself, and take care of your self.