I Loves Chocolate!

My favorite Easter bunny funny.

Saying Goodbye

First let's say hello. To Sara and her adorable daughter Maddie. They came to visit last week. Sara and I were catching up, you know, boring adult chit-chat. Maddie was doing her 10yo best to focus on her book, but she was growing just a little bored with it. So we went to look for Newton and Einstein. Who were hiding and not in a playful mood. Next stop was downstairs where art supplies and the dress-up closet were waiting. Who knew that on the way Maddie's eyes would light up when she spied my bubblegum pink Squier strat in the corner of the family room. Turns out she's had a couple of years of lessons and had outgrown the half-size kid guitar she had been playing. Sara said they were in the market for a full size instrument. As I watched Maddie bond with my long neglected pink guitar, I knew I had to let her take it home. Just in case she ever decides to play the blues, I threw in the hat and sunglasses. Saying goodbye is so much easier when it feels right.

The Bags Have It

As far as derisive labels go, I've been thinking that enema bag has a much nastier tone and connotation than douche bag. And I like that it's unisex in nature. But it just doesn't roll off the tongue as nicely. That neat, crisp, percussive d at the beginning is so much stronger right out of the gate. Consonants are much more aggressive than vowels. As the Pythons would say, it's a good woody sounding word. And when you're putting someone down, I think we can all agree that woody is preferable to tinny.

White Furry Feets

It's late. I'm pooped. Time for a cute kitty-cat photo! Look at Einstein, he's pretty. Don't think for a second he doesn't know it. Just between you and me, he does have kind of big feet. Or maybe they just look big because they're white. And since it's almost Easter, get your white shoes out of the closet and polish them up! Then wear them proudly. But only til Labor Day.

April Third Movie Night

Allow me to apologize for the lame title. I am terribly sorry. But I wanted to keep with the trend of the last two post titles which were mildly clever. In my ongoing efforts to expose my son to iconic comedy films, tonight we viewed the 1984 classic Ghostbusters. I hadn't seen it for years and enjoyed it, also impressed with the special effects. Dana Barrett has more pink in her living room than I do. Reid now understands why I will often say, yes, have some, when offering him food or drink. Ectoplasmic residue. Zuul. The Staypuft marshmallow man. Your girlfriend lives in the corner penthouse of spook central. He's an ugly little spud. Dogs and cats living together. I could go on and on, but won't. You're welcome.

April Second Opinion

Thinking that my life and the safety of others might be in imminent danger, I stopped by my favorite tire shop this afternoon. The very nice young man said that I have a good 5000+ miles left on my tires. He showed me the wear bars still deep in the tread of the tires. He hated to send me away and did give me the bad news that each tire, when I needed them, were going to be around $159. EACH! I guess they're 17" sport alloy rims or something, and in the tire world, they are kinda fancy. As well as practical, I must add. I have driven through some of the worst winter weather I've ever experienced in my Subaru Outback, and that is, I expect the all wheel drive in combination with great handling and where those four tires connect with the road. He said to come back and see him in a couple months. Since the tires are original equipment, they are now five years old and even though I have lots of remaining tread the upcoming summer heat could expand now hidden surface cracks. And that could be a safety issue should the cracks enlarge and separate. The original impression of danger was planted in my head by the dealership where I purchased my car. The service manager is a nice guy, and I'm certain he has corporate factory issued guidelines to follow and he's just doing his job. On the other hand, I listen to Car Talk on NPR and I'm wary of procedures and premature part replacements that do little more than make the dealership owner's boat payment. To be fair, the dealership's tire estimate was pretty close to the one I got today. But I no longer feel like I'm riding on borrowed tread.

April First Impressions

Long, long ago and actually in a house across the street from where I now live, though this side of the street had no houses yet, I attended a primitive cultural phenomenon known as a Home Interiors party. The lady of the house, I'm thinking her name was Julie, had invited a dozen or so of her very best friends, checkbooks in hand, over for an evening of munchies and beverages and feminine bonding over chotchkies. There was a perky and enthusiastic sales representative who demonstrated amazing ways to group things like framed prints and little shelves and various knickknacky items to place upon said shelves like fake plants and candles on the walls of your home to make it more, well, homey. One of the most important decorating tasks the Home Interiors lady challenged us with, was the festooning of what she called the impression wall. We oooohed. The impression wall, she continued, is that critical first wall that a visitor would see just as they step in your front door. It should represent you, the essence of you, what your family is all about. She further assured us that the very items to create said impression wall were available in the Home Interiors catalog. She then pointed at various women in the group and asked them what was currently on the impression wall in her own home. She made the mistake of asking me. At the time I was living with my boyfriend. He had fabulous taste in women, obviously, but was a little shaky on impression wall, um, impressions. His contribution to our living room decor was a black velvet nude painting of a very lovely woman with seriously asymmetrical boobs. Leaving whoever should cross our front door threshold with the impression that we like bad art as well as naked women. Dubious impression, at best. The perky HI rep was speechless. I have always possessed the ability to stop any sort of social gathering dead in its tracks by opening my mouth. Well, she did ask. At any rate, I didn't buy anything at the party. I just went with my friend Theresa because if Julie had a certain number of guests she got a better hostess gift. And because there would be wine. In the above photo, please enjoy the impression wall of my current home. The kitchen. Heart and soul of any house. I think it looks nice in the long view.

But something sinister emerges when you zoom in. Pots. Knives. A marble rolling pin. Domestic weapons of mass destruction. And, shockingly, they are all naked. The more things change, the more they stay the same.