Monday, January 30, 2012

If You Cantaloupe...

I've been thinking about the various applications of a safe word. Other than the bondage variety, which is where my pottybrain has a tendency to immediately go. When choosing a safe word, the more obscure the better. Makes it less likely that it would crop up in casual conversation. But there's a fine line if you must employ the word when others are present, you need to be able to work it in without being obvious. I must credit Jacquelineand for dislodging this story from wherever it was hiding in my brain, because it's funny and ought to be shared. Even if you weren't there. But particularly so if you know the women involved. It went something like this...my friends Jeany and Lee Ann are sisters. They were invited to a family function, a baby shower or something, that they weren't thrilled about attending. They need to at least show up for a while and agreed that when one of them mentioned the word cantaloupe, they would make their apologies and be on their way. To complicate the matter, there was a table with quite a spread of goodies on display. A decorated cake, cookies, fresh fruit. Including cantaloupe! At this point in the story, depending upon which sister is relating it, the roles become disputed as to who said what and when. This is what's really funny if you hear them tell the story, how they argue back and forth about the details. Right up there with Englishmen and croquet. But I digress. One sister becomes involved in chatting with the other guests and completely forgets about the significance of saying the word cantaloupe. This goes on for close to an hour, and the other sister is more than ready to vacate the party. After casually mentioning cantaloupe several times without the desired reaction, she employs an improvised Plan B. Loading up a plate with cantaloupe, she sticks it right under her sister's nose, asking her with much more volume than necessary if she wouldn't like some damn cantaloupe! To which she replies, no thanks, you know I don't care for cantaloupe. Then makes a face like, you're my sister, you know I don't like cantaloupe, how could you not remember that!...then laughs uproariously because she remembers their plan. Safe words. Choose them carefully.

2 comments:

The Cranky said...

Glad to be of service; especially when it brings more of your humour to the fore.

Bellona of Avalon said...

I used to play volleyball with these gals, they did the same thing on the court during a game. It was hilarious! We didn't win very many games but we had a lot of fun.