Hello and Goodbye

Normally, if I drink four beers, I'm pretty messed up. But I grabbed a six pack of the cute little 7 oz bottles by mistake. I don't even have to pee yet! I am typing from my sister's dining table in Tucson, AZ. Made a quick trip down here last Friday, quick because I flew for the first time in over twenty years. Flying was pretty okay. It's been a difficult few days, I'm here to see Mom, whose health is on the decline. Little sis Martine and I took care of arrangements to transfer Mom from the hospital to a nursing home where she will be receiving hospice care. Meaning, no more trying to beat the cancer that she's been battling for three years. No more badgering her to take part in physical therapy that would help her recover from hip replacement surgery. Just comfort care. Meaning whatever she wants to eat, if only she would take an interest in eating. And meds to ease her pain. She has a beautiful view out her window of bright, flowering desert plants. But she mostly watches ESPN and asks when football season will start. She could linger at this stage for weeks, even months. This time is bittersweet, a long goodbye. I expect when I leave here on Thursday I will not see my mother alive again. I am enjoying Martine's company, even while we do nothing special, and marvel over how grown up my nephew is. Tomorrow we'll bring Mom a grilled cheese sandwich, a request made today that she may not remember tomorrow. And if it isn't raining, we'll go to Catalina State Park to see the desert in bloom. The desert is coming to life as Mom fades away.