Not a Groupie

One of the oddball questions I will drop when the chat around the table grows quiet is, how many guitar players must a woman sleep with in order to acheive groupie status? This usually generates, firstly, puzzled expressions, and secondly, a good hearty laugh, and, thirdly, answers as unique as the answerer. Sometimes I'm asked to further define my question. Like, does he have to be a guitar player? Could the musician in question be a drummer, bass player, frontman? Sure. Any of the above. I have heard a number of interesting replies but as yet have not received what I truly feel is the definitive answer. Maybe I'm trying to determine whether I have attained groupie-dom. Although I don't think one nearly three year involvement with one particular musician qualifies me. I do have a number of friends who are musicians, the degree of friendship ranges from briefly dated to they know me and usually stop by the table to say hello during a break. I must confess one of the things I really enjoy saying is, I'm with the band. Which gives one access and privileges not conferred on the ordinary fan. Three defining factors crop up among the men I have variously been attracted to. They are Libra musicians who reside in Rapid City. Sometimes I approach them with interest, sometimes they approach me. Sometimes they only have one or two of the defining factors. Usually we meet through mutual friends. None of them have turned out to be Mr. NPBPFM*. Which brings up the subject of insanity. You know, that premise where you try to produce different results by continually doing the same thing. My friend Steve, who is neither a musician nor a Libra, but happens to live in Rapid City, says that I am very definitely not crazy. He is a very intelligent, literal and logical type, and he says I'm just tweaking the formula. Variations on a theme. I'm finding many of the qualities that I want in a man, just not the right combination at the right time. There's no coincidence in the similarities here, experiments work that way, Steve maintains. And most of them fail time after time, until just the right balance of factors comes together, and, voila, success. Dating, it seems, is the ultimate experiment where the successful outcome is finding a suitable mate. Making me a social laboratory participant, not a groupie. Who's counting, anyway, that's what I always say.

*Mr. Not Perfect But Perfect For Me