Shrinking Family Tree

Maybe this is just another aspect of being over forty. Like growing hair in odd places. And experiencing peculiar hormonal shifts. And realizing that if I had started standing on my head twenty years ago that possibly I could have begun counter-acting the effects of gravity on certain body parts. But it seems that my family tree has been shrinking in a very real way. It's certain that it was on something of a decline prior to my realization, but that's part of my point. Things have changed according to my personal perspective and that's the only way anything becomes real rather than a statistic or a news story. Just over seven years ago I lost my last living grandparent, my maternal grandmother Esther. The Norwegian one. The one who would stir up a cake out of her head, her way of saying sans recipe, and toss it in the oven along with whatever was roasting for dinner to make optimal use of the heat that was generated. She picked up rosemaling later on in life, that's Norsky for rose painting, and painted a lovely profusion of flowers and scrollwork on pretty much everything in sight. She and my grandfather were married for over fifty years, something I admire, especially from the standpoint that so few couples from my generation will accomplish that. Esther taught me a love of gardening, the importance of family, and an appreciation for what I have. Since she departed this life three of her four children have died, leaving my mother the lone survivor of her family of origin. And a month ago Mom was diagnosed with stage III multiple myeloma. The prognosis is grim but she is determined to go forward with treatment with the hope it will put the MM into remission. This is all happening in a surreal fashion for me because Mom lives 1700 miles away. And I am grateful to my sister who lives near her for shouldering the burden of helping her through this difficult time. I feel sad and angry and helpless about my mother's illness. It's a reminder of the random and ravaging way life can throw any of us a curve and see how we cope. As well as how absolutely important it is to be present in my own life and recognize how very precious it is.