As if this weren't enough, now I'm making hearts go boom-boom at UkraineBrides4You.com. There's even a gif of a red heart rhythmically expanding and deflating for effect. Even though I can join for free, I think I'll pass. There would be disappointment all around when I turn out to be a woman approaching sixty, not to mention the complications of the language barrier. I will click the unsubscribe once more, and as many more times as it takes. Relegating these offers to the spam folder seems premature. It's possible they'll discover that I'm a girl and start sending offers of hunky Ukrainian grooms for me. Then I might join. But only if they have nice teeth.