Monday, February 27, 2012


...they're frogs, even if you never actually meet them. Case in point. A mutual friend who thinks two people ought to meet provides the two people with contact information. Hint. I am actually one of these people. Even though I don't think this is a good match for a number of reasons, in the spirit of keeping an open mind and honoring a fledgling friendship, I make contact via email. I give the man in question my phone number. This was over a month ago, and I still have not received a reply, either to the email or on the phone. Am I surprised? Not really. I expect he had the same inkling I did, that we aren't a good match romantically. Am I disappointed? Only in his lack of courtesy in not replying. I expect he was probably raised better. What's more important, I think, is that this man and I are at very different points on the path of relationship recovery. We are both divorced with similarly aged children whose former spouses are soon to remarry. I am at a point where I am pretty okay, even supportive of the fact that my ex will married in less than a month. It seems that my fix-up is not. So I have learned something about my level of generosity. I know I don't have the patience or the energy to invest in a man who needs a shoulder to cry on. I know this sounds cold, and it's not as though I'm not willing to be there for a significant other once that relationship has developed. All I'm asking is to be able to start out on similar footing, to be at a like degree of healing and readiness. With a great deal of love and support from friends and family and substantial emotional and spiritual work, I'm there already. Bruised yet optimistic. Open but not desperate. Alone but not lonely. I don't think it's too much to ask for Mr. NPbPfM* to be equally situated.

* Mr. Not Perfect but Perfect for Me

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