Till You Get it Right

I have just accomplished one of my primary goals in life. I have watched the movie Ground Hog Day on Ground Hog Day! Scoff if you must at such a lackluster goal, but I have to say that it felt right in a cosmic and deep sort of way. I also watched it with my fifteen year old son. Which puts a particular spin on anything he participates in with Mom, usually interesting. Funny but from a much different perspective than mine. I can't even begin to imagine how the world appears to a fifteen year old Y-chromosomatic person. So I enjoy his company, even if sometimes it is offered a little less than enthusiastically. Although this evening, when asked if he would care to watch a movie with me, the answer was a resounding Why Not!! We found ourselves unfortunately without popcorn, the only snag in the evening. While on the surface GHD passes as a friendly comedy, I find myself appreciating it on a deeper level. Atonement comes to mind, as does the concept you reap what you sow. Watching the transformation of a man who merely goes through the motions to get what he wants into a man who finally believes he truly deserves to have what it is that he desires is a process that is funny and uplifting. Sometimes dark, yet hopeful. Bill Murray begins the movie at his snarky, cynical best and by the end we are rooting for him. He goes from being a prisoner in his own special little hell to being the master of his own little universe. Shallow and self-serving becomes accepting and gracious. How better a way could there be to learn about your flaws and shortcomings than to have to repeat the same day over and over and over again. Then find redemption in that very same repetition. Sometimes I feel like my days are cookie-cutter facsimiles of each other. The alarm goes off. I make coffee, eat breakfast, pack my lunch, send my son off to school. There's a certain comfort to a routine, and that routine can be jostled about by surprises. I have a preference for the surprises that bring joy and wonder as opposed to those that leave you stunned and saddened. I certainly have had days where I'd like to start over again, have that opportunity to right a wrong or be a better person. Some days I'm just glad are finally over. Once is definitely enough for some experiences. Living a great day over and over seems like it might be good, but isn't part of a great day the anticipation of an event almost as much as the event itself? And after a few repetitions, wouldn't you feel a little worn out? And how could a surprise continue to be a surprise if you know precisely when it's coming? Kind of like seeing a really great movie for the first time. Relish it and remember it and be in the moment with it. Because it will never be quite the same for you again.