Saturday, September 16, 2017

Peach Crop 2017


One peach, children. That is all, just one. A week ago there were about a dozen in the tree, and I should have picked them then. The damn squirrels aren't so picky about ripeness. And after they knock them to the ground, the little bastards generally eat less than half of the fruit. They gnaw on each one just enough to make it pointless to try to salvage the rest. Then leave it lying in the sun to attract insects. The peach in the photo was the last one hanging. It's solid as a rock but I picked it anyway. It will ripen quite nicely on the kitchen counter where it will be safe from the various vermin out in the yard. Then I shall enjoy the entire 2017 peach crop in one sitting. On the bright side, there is still enough of last year's crop for a pie and a bit of jam in the freezer. There's always next year.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Abso-Freaking-Lutely!

You know how you do that, well, maybe you don't, thing where you say the first part of a word, then insert an interesting colorful word for emphasis, then finish saying the word? There's a word for that! And that word is tmesis. Tmesis. Say it! t(ə)ˈmēsəsThat was fun, wasn't it? Sounds kind of like a disease. Or something else unpleasant, maybe a rash. If you find yourself in Australia, this verbal construct is called a tumba rumba. That sounds like a dance craze. Say, baby, let's tumba rumba off to some-bloody-where more fun than this! Fan-freaking-tastic!

My Bloomin' Hoya!








Tuesday, September 12, 2017

So Close to Painting!!

Cutting boards is messy work. And the sawdust sticks to one so beautifully when one is sweaty. I like to think of it as industrial glitter. A little more scraping, screwing down the replacement board and a couple of trim boards, and a thorough sanding is all that stands between me and a paintbrush loaded with primer. Tomorrow I will be so industrially glittery you'll think I'm on my way to a rave.

Saturday, September 9, 2017

Old News


Well, this is crappy, but slightly ambiguous, news. Just to be safe, I'm keeping an eye on my credit card accounts. If you are curious about whether your personal information may have been affected by the hack, go here and follow the instructions. This makes me feel almost as secure as those Publishers Clearing House contest entries. You may already be a winner. 

Friday, September 8, 2017

My Sis Knows Me


Yes, Martine, I love this tshirt. Pink camper, pink flamingo, yes, yes, yes! I wonder if I could pull that adorable pink camper with this. That would be perfect.

Piece of Cake! Not!

Click on the image for a larger, more readable version.

Study this chart. Because it's likely that you were lucky enough to be born here and do not have to go through the rigor and expense to become an American citizen. Don't tell anyone to get in line and stop being lazy. That's a clear indication that you are clueless. It's entirely likely that you wouldn't make the grade to immigrate here if these new rules become the standard. Guess I better get busy on winning a Nobel prize or start training for the Olympics.