Time for a Tome

I was just thinking that this month marks seventeen years since I printed out the first draft of The Virgins Club. I spent a year submitting and the following year attempting to secure a literary agent. I failed at both endeavors. My novel has lingered at second draft stage for the last fifteen years. At this point, close to forty people have read it and I have received mostly positive feedback. Prepare yourselves, children. I have decided to publish it here. On the first and the fifteenth of each month going forward, I will post two chapters of The Virgins Club. I am aware that there are run-on sentences and I am not a grammarian, although I was an English major. I can't figure out for the life of me how to split up a narrative into paragraphs. Why do you think I publish here in a single block format? As always, I appreciate feedback. Stick with me and tell me what you think about content, story, and characters. Please be kind. At the very least, be constructive. If you're a literary agent, make me an offer I can't refuse.

Infestation

When the appliance delivery fellows arrived this morning, the first task was to remove the old range. After pulling it away from the wall, guy #1 turned to me and said, I'm afraid you have a very bad mice problem. Totally deadpan. Frightfully serious. I peered over his shoulder steadying myself for the worst. Then we both burst out laughing. The previous owner's cat left a present for me. Over a dozen little mousie toys. Newton has sniffed at them, detected another cat's spit, and refuses to play with them. Cats are generally not interested in free toys. Only the expensive ones.

All About Me

Now that I have been in Colorado for a week, I think it's time to update my bio. You know, that little spiel off to the right with the heading, About Me. To reflect my new circumstance. Hmmm. I'll work on it in my head whilst I continue the unpacking and organizing. Don't worry about missing its debut, naturally I'll make a proper announcement. I just know you'll be among the first to read it.  

Sweets for the Sweet

I didn't read the little sign on the table. Not that one, that one I did read. the one that says Step Down. Because after you sit for a while you might just forget that you stepped up to get into the booth in the first place. Particularly if you have imbibed in an adult beverage. Where was I? The little sign that I didn't read. Because the photo looked sooooo darn good. Tater tot type thingys only made with sweet potatoes! I sprung for the extra buck to have them as my side. To my surprise, and not in a good way, they were weirdly sweet rather than savory. I nibbled another one to be sure. Yes, definitely sweet. Ick! Then I read the sign. Dusted with sugar and cinnamon. Eww! Let's get one thing straight. Sweet is for dessert, not a side with your burger. Well, maybe for that subset of folks who think tossing cut up Snicker bars with pieces of apple and whipped cream can be called a salad. Don't get me started on side dishes that contain miniature marshmallows. Or that rice with fruit and creamy dressing that's served cold. I was raised in the Lutheran church, people, I know firsthand about oddball side dishes. I even own a couple of Lutheran church cookbooks from the fifties and sixties that prove people prepared and ate this stuff. The thing is, I love sweet potato fries. Sweet potatoes on their own live up to their first name, and when you salt them just a bit you have that perfect blend of sweet and savory that is just irresistible. But a resounding no to the added sugar and cinnamon. Old Chicago, I won't be back for a very long while. At least the Dos Equis amber was delish. I do know how to order a tasty beer.

The Case of the Crushed Lampshade

This is what happens when the pro moving guys "pack" a lamp and put it on the truck. I never was fond of that lampshade so no real loss here. I was planning to paint it and put a different shade on it anyway. Jill packed a dozen or so lamps for me, and they all arrived in perfect condition. Not a scratch on any of them. Even a couple of them I was planning to paint a different color showed up just fine. Jill is not a professional mover. Always have Jill pack your lamps.

Boxes and Buckets and Totes, Oh, My!

So many unpacked, flattened boxes. So many still full boxes. I have yet to locate the silverware tray. And there is one lamp missing. My desk is assembled! Furniture arrangement for most of the upstairs has been thoughtfully considered and taking shape. I am still living out of my suitcase. Three ringy-dingies, three messages, and ten days later, the electrician still has not returned my call. I need to find a local contractor to dig two egress windows. The lawn needs mowed. And the new lawnmower won't arrive until later this week. I really want to abandon working on unpacking and putting away activities and buy flowers and pot them. I only have three beers left in the fridge. My first high altitude baking endeavor turned out well with a pan of brownies for Reid's birthday on Saturday. Even after scrubbing away at the kitchen cabinets, they retain a bit of surface stickiness. Ew. Fortunately, the interior of them is clean so dishes and such can find a place to be. It's days like this I could use Mickey Mouse in a wizard outfit commanding a platoon of brooms to move this process along. Pardon me while I put on the Fantasia soundtrack.
  

We Have Arrived

Yes, hello, we are back on the internets! I am happy to say that after just over three weeks I have adjusted to Mountain Daylight Time. Okay, yeah, it's just an hour and mostly a mental thing, but still. The trailer containing most of our stuff has arrived and departed. In between, a three man team from Little Guys Moving showed up and did an outstanding job unloading. I have learned a couple of things. Firstly, that the professionals I hired to load did, at best, a questionable job. A fair amount of shifting occurred during transport resulting in a great deal of furniture surface damage. Not enough to bother to put in a claim on my homeowner's insurance but disappointing all the same. Seven or eight totes and boxes that were loaded on the top broke open and spilled their contents all over the place. My outdoor wood bench was significantly damaged. I'm hoping a couple of blocks of wood and a few screws will render it sittable once more. The leaf for my dining room table was scuffed so severely I fear there is no repairing it. For now, it will take up residence in the basement and if used will require a tablecloth. And a couple of items came out of the trailer that weren't supposed to be loaded in the first place! Meh. And the three rows of boxes that Reid and I loaded didn't budge a bit. Damn, we're good. I have spent part of the morning researching electric lawnmowers online. With my small yard such a mower could be a terrific choice. They come in at about half the weight of a gas powered mower so I may be able to manage mowing once more! Plus no pull start, merely the flick of a switch! No gas, no oil changes, no noise! Please, take my money! I am so in love with this house. I have about half of an organized living room. The kitchen is a total disaster. And to make up for the tacky blinds the former owners left in place, they also left behind eight linen curtain panels that are lovely and will work nicely in my bedroom. Sometimes things just work out.