Saturday, June 18, 2011

Pheromone Groan

Because I don't know the proper term for this human vocalization, I am hereby christening it the pheromone groan. It's that low, guttural, visceral utterance that bursts forth from you when you observe a member of the particular sex you find attractive doing pretty much anything. Just standing there can inspire the pheromone groan. Sometimes it sneaks up on you out in public. We'll call this form the ninja pheromone groan, or the NPG. This happened to me this morning. I was minding my own business, pedaling along in fourth gear on the bike trail. Up ahead, still a ways off, was a very, shall we say, well made young man. Taking a breather from running and stretching near a bench off to the side of the trail. This was entertaining enough. Then, without warning, he hopped up on the bench and crouched, then leaned forward off the front of the bench and began doing push-ups with his hands on the grass and his toes on the bench! I was seized by the NPG. I was grateful as I passed by that he was iPod equipped with, I hope, firmly placed ear buds. You need a good, solid NPG once in a while. Just so you know you're still alive.

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