Thursday Edition

Do consume as many fresh garden tomatoes as you possibly can. Don't buy a Dodge Stratus. Cute car, lousy transmission. Do hug your friends. Especially the ones you haven't seen in a while. Don't install a light fixture unless you have turned off the appropriate electrical breaker. Do read a newspaper instead of getting your news from television! My friend Colleen's house is having an off-its-foundation experience and will soon move out of town in a northerly direction. Tomorrow is the last day of August. That means next week I go back to work full time. My painting project is done! That must be what I did all summer. The younger son has been back in school for nearly a week. My older son is moving back into the dorm this weekend. They are my sophomores this year. I expect great things from these wise idiots of mine. My supervisor at work has the cutest baby boy! And I'm sure that has nothing to do with the fact that he was born on my birthday and has the same middle name as me. I am so tired right now I swear I could sleep for a week. Sandy and I enjoy saying the word "phompsis", which is a group of fungi that cause disease in soybeans. Not a funny thing at all, but a very funny word. Say it. Come on. Phompsis, phompsis, phompsis. I just know that my younger son is going to come in here before he goes to bed and share some disturbing fact with me that will lodge in my head and give me bad dreams tonight. Don't forget that September 19th is Talk Like a Pirate Day. I'm not crazy about my surname but it's better than my maiden name, so I was thinking about just changing my last name to one of my own choice just for fun. It is just weirder than you can possibly imagine to hear a totally ludicrous rumor about yourself that is completely untrue. Did I mention that I'm pooped? And that I could use a shower? I've been sticking pretty close to home the last couple of months, I didn't go on my semi-planned birthday road trip in July. I bought a leather couch instead. I'm so very happy that tomorrow is Friday. If this week were any longer I just don't know if I could manage it! Newton and Einstein are on their evening romp through the house. It's quite amazing how a couple of nine pound cats can sound like a herd of rampaging buffalo. I have a list of twenty-two items that would make up the ideal man for me. Item number fifteen states that he should joyfully massage my feet. Pretty much on demand. And as far as me and my tired feet are concerned, he could show up any time soon.