I've been thinking about a dear friend and this guy she's friends with. She's pretty specific about referring to him as a friend, no more, no less. I get the impression that he's a little crazy about her and would like to be upgraded at least to boyfriend. Then I got to thinking that he probably doesn't even crack her top five as far as what she's devoted to. In line ahead of him are the following...
1. Her daughter
2. Her profession
3. Her extended family
4. Her pets
5. Her animal rescue activism
Do keep in mind that this is my assessment from afar, for the most part intuited from what she has told me and what I get from observing the situation. Also that I have known her for over thirty years. I guess my point is simply that there is some degree of imbalance in most relationships. Things work if they each are getting enough of what they want and need despite this disparity. It's a delicate dance. It's the price of admission. It's what we're willing to settle for, because I firmly believe that Dan Savage is right, all of us do settle. If we didn't, more than likely we'd be alone. I do wonder if it's better to be alone if you don't qualify for the top five ranking. All I know is, if I didn't make the top five of my significant other's list, and I was aware of that fact, I would be sad, indeed. And it would likely be time to reassess the relationship. The price of admission has to be worth it. I expect that price is different for each of us.
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