Even when you don't know someone terribly well, and when I say you I mean me, there is a certain familiar something that you establish together, and it is as unique as the two individuals involved. There is a phrase I use to describe the interactions between two people that result in a sort of bond, and I call that bond the we of you and I. It occurs in all sorts of relationships. Friendship, romantic involvement, familial ties, business and organizational associations. Regardless of the depth, from the expedient and superficial to soul deep sharing, one thing is clear. When one of the individuals has violated the bond, the result can be painful and confusing. Destructive even. What can hide safely within a text message is laid bare face to face. The body language, the eyes, the tone of voice. Something is awry. All you know is that something has changed and you're not sure what. Or why. And wonder if the rift can be repaired, or if that work is worth the effort. Sometimes it seems all too fragile, but maybe the reality is that the we of you and I is more resilient than I might think. I'm drawing no conclusions at this hour. Maybe tonight was a betrayal that will leave this nascent duprass dead in the water. Regrettable for how optimistic and profound, significant and trusting our bond had become. I expect what is crucial to recognize at this time is the possibility that tonight was a gift. That maybe despite the disappointment I have been relieved of investing more time and effort and energy into someone who is undeserving. A bitter pill for sure, but better now than later.
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2 comments:
Broken trusts. That can be so disappointing. Good relationships develop slowly and organically and the shock of betrayal can be surprising as we may not even self recognize how vested we are in that relationship.
Likely it can be salvaged but it takes mutual work and effort. Mutual being key. It's a good time to evaluate and determine if it's worth saving or if it's time to tuck tail and move on.
The remarkable and new thing is that I didn't retreat into the funk of emotional self-flagellation. It's my fault. When am I going to get better at reading people? What's wrong with me?
You are wise and I am hopeful.
The key is we both have to care. And I'm certain that I still do.
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