Courtship Conundrum

I have been to the internet singles bar. Yes, indeed, I have suffered the humiliation and rejection of dating without, for the most part, actually being there. Which saves time and effort and primping up to go out in public. For three months I took part in an on-line dating service. I'd tell you which one, but then I'd have to meet your parents. It was interesting and informative but ultimately unsatisfying. First I would like to gripe about the more than fifty percent of the "matches" who didn't bother to post a photo. Looks are not everything but let's be honest, appearance is a very real and valid piece of the attraction pie. Post a photo, buddy, or you're invisible to me! I also found it annoying when a fellow would post his profile greeting in all caps. I felt as if he was yelling at me over the noise of the virtual band in the internet singles bar just to get my attention. It seemed there was a standard manner in which single men describe themselves, at least one in ten felt he was laid back, liked to hunt and fish and watch sports on tv, and his favorite thing was riding his Harley. No wonder he's single! These are activities he does with the guys! He's looking for a guy with boobs and cooking skills, if you ask me. He might as well have included beer guzzling and lighting farts. Something that I found odd was the number of men who referred to themselves as teddy bears, or more specifically, teddy bears who love to cuddle. There likely are women who appreciate a cuddly, furry sort of guy, but for me the term teddy bear is a turn-off, the mere mention of a stuffed toy completely desexualizes the situation. Next thing you know, he'll be calling you Mama. His funky little mama that he's going to take for a laid back ride on his Harley! There were some men whose profiles genuinely interested me. I emailed them. Most of them didn't bother to even send a courtesy reply, they just ignored me. Probably just as well, if they don't understand that good manners are an assett on-line, they may not know how to employ them in person. I did have two face-to-face meetings, which I will give you all the mostly non-juicy details of in another post. When my three months were up, my profile remained on the service for another week so I was still getting views from potential first dates. When a man calling himself "Rhonda" was interested, I decided it was time to delete my profile and move on. His profile contained absolutely no personal information or a photo. He said he was interested in meeting an open-minded woman who didn't mind that he liked to dress up in feminine clothing. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but you have to draw the line somewhere. So let's get something straight here and now. In a relationship, I'm the one who gets to wear the lacy camisoles and nighties. We can take turns wearing the pants.

Just for fun, this is Miss Manners' take on the subject of internet dating.