Desire

My American Heritage Dictionary lists no less than seventeen forms of the word desire. It's a verb, it's a noun, it's an adjective. It can be applied to or used to describe food, property, ambition, love, passion, possession. A longing or a wish. A request or petition. Hunger. Desire. Over the last few days I have taken a journey within. Looked inside to find what it is that I desire. What I found didn't surprise me. What did surprise me is that I have the courage to own this deep, dark thing regardless of whether it ever shall belong to me. And that discovery was freeing for my soul. I think of Colleen and the courage it required to attend an auction and bid on a house never thinking she would actually end up buying it. But she did. And not because she had the deepest pockets in the crowd or the fattest checkbook. She had a love and a vision for that house that simply could not be defeated. She has long hours of hard work ahead of her but getting the house moved to her property and restoring it inside and out will be a labor of love and a source of joy. At some point in life you have to make a decision about taking a leap of faith because you believe so strongly in embracing that which you desire with all your heart and soul. Today I have taken an internal leap of faith in accepting whatever may come to me regarding not just love, but where and how I truly wish to live my life, who I wish to share that life with and where I need to focus my energy to make it all happen. My journey of understanding the giving of unconditional love is closer to complete. A journey that started with motherhood and may never reach an end. I believe, like Dorothy, that when she voices her deepest desire and clicks together the heels of the magic red shoes that she will indeed be transported to where that desire dwells. It's a leap of faith.