Lost in Translation

Or, the dubious wisdom contained inside a Chinese fortune cookie. I know, these little slips of paper rarely contain more than the obvious and mundane, so expectations are not high. Okay, expectations are low to middling. Which, coincidentally, is where my personal expectations are for the food quality at your average, midwestern college town Chinese all-day buffet. But the fortune my son brought home last evening and shared with me is just plain inscrutable.

When the moment comes, take the one from the right.

A little context would be helpful. Are we talking being assailed by ninjas in a dark alleyway and how to best defend yourself? take the one from the right Perhaps a method to choose which door the million bucks is behind on a game show? take the one from the right Are we talking right as opposed to left handed? Right as opposed to left politically? Right as opposed to wrong morally? Right-side-up as opposed to upside-down? As far as I'm concerned, there are too many options for this sage advice to be the least bit helpful. Taking a look at the flip side of the fortune, we have an opportunity to learn the Chinese word for dish. And we have Lucky Numbers. Which aren't in ascending numerical order, which sort of bugs me. 54, 20, 21, 17, 11, 19. To simplify, when asked anything today, even if a numerical response isn't appropriate or reasonable, I'm saying 19. take the one from the right Don't begin to try to take advantage of this situation by approaching me and asking how many vacations I will finance for you or how many drinks I will buy you or for how many years will I agree to be your indentured servant. The statute of limitations on this offer expires in 19 minutes.