Shrinking Family Tree II

Over six years ago, in the very early days of my blogging saga, I wrote about this very subject. Since that time my mother and my younger brother have died. Much closer to home and closer to the heart than any previous losses I had experienced. In just the last few months my former mother-in-law has passed, also my father's last surviving sibling, Uncle Morris. Not meaning to be a downer here, just struggling my way toward a sense of perspective for this whole circle of life thing. The first funeral I attended was that of my paternal grandfather. I was weeks shy of turning fourteen and the whole experience was culture shock incarnate for me. A rural Baptist church in Mississippi with lots of Amen! shouting from the pews and knowing not a soul but for my own immediate family. I had no real memory of my grandfather, I had not seen him since I was a toddler. My sense of loss was completely overshadowed by the strange atmosphere I found myself in. Surreal to say the least. The loss was very real for my father, though, it's the only time I recall ever seeing him cry. Certainly there had been many deaths in the family prior to this time, they probably just slipped by in the background of my unaware childhood. I either didn't know the people in question at all or they were distant relatives I knew only from photographs. Though I realize now that the passing of these family members and friends was mourned deeply by my parents' and grandparents' generations. Only now is it occurring to me that there are many more family members younger than me than older! My contemporaries and I are being pushed up into the leafy canopy of the family tree by the children and grandchildren more recently born. I'm one of the elders now. I feel like I need to say that twice for it to truly sink in! I'm one of the elders now. And after meeting niece Megan's beautiful daughter, Mira, last Sunday, I have to say that I don't mind one bit hanging around in the upper branches. There are some pretty wonderful roots coming up behind me. It's their turn to shake things up and rearrange the world with their ideas and vision. And that's precisely how it ought to be. Not that I'm done being ornery and opinionated and living with passion and meaning, not by a long shot! I am enjoying being the old sage of a crone. I feel honored when I'm approached for advice and recipes. I may be halfway up the arc where the circle of life is concerned but my work here isn't close to being done. I suppose the family tree doesn't really shrink at all. The only thing that changes is your position on it.