Numerically Speaking

A few weeks ago I decided to begin referring to my former husband as my first husband as opposed to my ex-husband. This was inspired by my friend Karen, who refers to her current husband as her first one. Which he is. But due to the fact that they remain married, the context has very funny implications. Which I find amusing. So, in homage to her reference, I have adopted doing the same. Almost without fail I now refer to my ex as my first. I can't wait until some unsuspecting person asks how many times I have actually been married. So I can reply, oh, just the once. If I were a better person, I wouldn't take such delight in this inevitable possibility.