You have a right to your opinion but you have no right to judge me. You have a right to your opinion but you have no right to judge me. You have a right to your opinion but you have no right to judge me. This has been my mantra at times when I have had to face a difficult situation. Sometimes with a single person, often when I have found myself in the midst of the unfriendly. Those, for better or worse, who have been more than willing to opine about me, though seldom to my face. So where is this fine line drawn? When someone speaks ill of you it really doesn't matter if the words are judgement or opinion. Negativity is negativity no matter what you call it. I suppose I'm left with the feeling that the definition resides in the heart and mind of the recipient of the opinion/judgement. This is a mantra of protection. A suit of emotional armor to wear in hostile social territory. You can only guess the spirit in which the words are offered, even if the words are unspoken and conveyed only in a facial expression or other physical gesture. Enter the mantra. You choose opinion. Because that's all they have a right to. Because someday they might know the whole story. Because the event inspiring the rise of bad blood might eventually be lost to the passage of time and the failure of memory. And because it leaves room for forgiveness.
You're right. (once again)
ReplyDeleteNegativity serves no one, especially in cases when the negative opinion either a.) is formed on falsehoods or lack of understanding or b.) when the negativity affects the attitude or well-being of others involved.
Nothing gained. Period.
Life is too precious,
and too damned short.
Just my humble opinion.
Just a thought: May he who is without fault cast the first stone. Be strong, my friend. You've endured a lot; It's time for forgiveness or, at the very least, a show of compassion and basic human decency.
As I reread the above comment, I realize that your post struck such a chord with me not because I'm your friend, and not because I know a bit about the circumstances that prompted it, but because it speaks to a basic truth that affects all of us at some point in our lives.
ReplyDeleteWe aren't defined by others' opinions of us, but by how we choose live our lives in the face of harsh and/or inaccurate judgements. After all, it's much easier to pass judgement, than to try to understand, and move forward.
All in all, lovely post. : )