One Degree

You know the game, where theoretically you can connect any one person in the world to any other person with a mere six degrees. I find it interesting that I am but a single degree away from a number of famous people. Steve Martin and Kevin Costner, just to name drop a couple of them. Today I got news of someone I am one degree apart from. Someone I almost feel like I know. The news was sad, that she and her husband are separated, perhaps in the process of divorcing. This is always troubling, particularly when there are children involved. As you might expect, since I have some experience with this, I also have some opinions. And some thoughts. I have come to believe that ending a marriage is a rite of passage just as getting married is. Life is fluid, relationships and situations change. People grow in different directions. The reasons for a marriage ending are so varied, as individual as the couples who contemplate divorce. Often the root cause for the relationship breaking down has been there for some time, even from the beginning. You ignore, you gloss over, you put on your game face, you hope for the best. But it boils down to the very same thing every time. Husband and wife decide individually or separately that they no longer wish to continue as such. People do sometimes figure things out and get back together. I always hope for the best for everyone involved, especially the kids. And sometimes splitting up is just that. I feel a particular kinship with my one-degree-of-separation friend. It seems that theirs was the marriage that was admired among their group of friends. The couple that others wanted to be. That's how my marriage was. And I can tell you with certainty that how things appear from the outside and how they feel from the inside can be very different indeed. I used to be half of the it couple. Another thing I can tell you with certainty is that you will survive this. You will heal. You are courageous, resilient and resourceful. My heart goes out to you, Maggie.