Being the Mom

This past week has been merely tiring, not exhausting like the previous week. There is finally a new lock on the back door, installed by yours truly. The furnace is working beautifully without all those nagging little clicking sounds. The 16 yo and his parents survived parent/teacher conferences. And I learned where the parent/child boundaries are drawn with the 20 yo son. Which is a good thing. For months I had felt as if he had drifted away from me and I recognized him less and less. I can very happily say now that our relationship is as solid and healthy as it can be. One of the hardest things for a parent to do is stand by and let their nearly adult children learn the lessons of life without interfering. It seems it was only yesterday that he learned the lessons of immediate danger, the hot stove, cars on the street, the basement steps. You want them to learn without being too traumatized. It's just that as they get older that line becomes less easy to identify. The evolution of the parenting process isn't always clear, but showing up when you're needed is key. Whether you're needed or just interfering is a tough call to make. Bringing love, no judgement and a friendly, open ear can solve most anything that used to be cured with a bandaid, a cookie or a kiss.