One More Day

I heard a song today that I hadn't heard for a long time. It was funny how I recognized it from the opening chords since it was only my second time hearing it. The first hearing of Diamond Rio's, One More Day, remains so clear in my memory that I got a little chill this afternoon. I refer to this phenomenon as the Musical Emotional Moment, or MEM for short. An emotional reaction to a familiar song, or maybe one that isn't so familiar but speaks so clearly to what you are feeling at the moment, that you form something of a connection to the music. It doesn't even have to be a song that you like, just one that recalls a memory, and sometimes sticks in your head and drives you to distraction. Good or bad, a song becomes cemented into the soundtrack of your life, seemingly without a conscious choice on your part. Three years ago, some time during my summer of heartbreak, I was wandering through the grocery store without a list. I had recently been dumped by the man that I truly loved and was doing my best to begin the process of healing after such a painful event. I was in the bread and soft drink aisle when One More Day played over the PA. I stared blankly at the shelf full of bread and bagels as I listened, gripping the cart and feeling light-headed as the tears burned behind my eyelids. The chorus in particular got to me...

one more day, one more time,
one more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied,
but then again I know what it would do,
leave me wishing still for one more day with you

When it popped on the radio this afternoon, I was in the midst of doing seed counts for the multi-species lab. Tomatoes, zinnias, marigolds. Part of my brain was engaged in counting out 100 seed reps but the rest of the active gray matter yanked me right back to three years ago. When, against all good reason, all I wanted was one more day with the lover who had abandoned me, knowing that just one more day would never satisfy. While I have accepted that I may never have a full sense of closure over what happened and why to end our relationship, I do realize one thing. That I am mostly healed from that devastating period of my life. And I wonder where I'll be and what I'll be doing next time I hear One More Day.