Remembrance

Feeling a little mortal lately. Might be due to the fact that I recently spent time with my mother. Her cancer is in remission but her current state of frailty is still a bit of a shock. Or it could have something to do with the fact that the second anniversary of my brother's death is approaching. He was 51 when he died. I'll soon be 51. Feels just a little too close, but not terribly uncomfortable. Maybe it's just a function of aging, but I find myself thinking about how I might be remembered by those I leave behind. Which makes me think that maybe I ought to do something about all of those journals tucked into the filing box under my desk! Which brings us to Beth Nielsen Chapman and her CD Sand and Water. Which brings us to a guilty little pleasure I indulged in when I still had cable TV. I watched reruns of the series Charmed. I loved every minute of that show but didn't admit to anyone that I was a regular viewer. At the end of one episode there was a funeral scene in a cemetery, and an absolutely beautiful song was playing over the scene as the camera panned out and faded to black and the credits. For once I caught the music credit as it displayed ever so fleetingly across the screen. Beth Nielsen Chapman. Singing the title song from Sand and Water. On the strength of that one song, I purchased the CD and I love every single track. She wrote the collection of ten songs in the year-long period following the death of her husband, Ernest, and they reflect the many stages and turns her grief led her through. The following lyrics are toward the end of the song. I can barely listen to them without choking up, I can't imagine how she can sing them so beautifully. What I do know is that when I'm gone, if someone I was close to remembers me with such grace and love, I'll have lived a pretty good life.

all alone I heal this heart of sorrow
all alone I raise this child
flesh and bone, he's just
bursting toward tomorrow
and his laughter fills my world
and wears your smile