Juniper Jungle

There is a dense jungle of junipers thriving on the east side of my house. The garage side. They were planted to cover up the nasty looking concrete footings that peeped out from under the siding. I think there were five or six plants initially, purchased at a bargain clearance price toward the end of the season twenty years ago. As end of the season garden plants go, these were marginal. More brown than green with the roots grown through the plastic pots they called home. I remember the thought was, hey, if they survive, they were cheap and we won't have to look at that ugly, uneven concrete any more. Or, if they don't survive the winter, they were cheap and next spring we can plant something else. Survive they did. And have grown into a massive, fragrant thicket that small dogs and rabbits can disappear into. I love the wild look and trim back just the most wayward of branches or those that are no longer producing green foliage. The only problem I have with them is when I have to work around them during yard maintenance and get scratched by their unforgiving structure. I have had a tendency in the past to react to the junipers by developing a raised, splotchy rash wherever I have come in contact with them. Perhaps an allergic reaction. Which made me think. Hmmm. Allergy shots. People pay thousands of dollars for allergy shots where they are exposed to small amounts of allergens, not enough to make them sick, but enough to alert their immune system to build up a tolerance to the offending substance so future exposures will be less severe. So I embarked on a plan of drinking gin. Just a few years ago I was introduced to the the lovely summer beverage known as a gin & tonic. But not just any gin, mind you, it must be Bombay Sapphire. With copious amounts of lime for good measure. Gin is derived in part from juniper berries! Every time I drink a gin & tonic I am building up an immunity to the junipers I must frequently deal with in my yard! What a lovely, lovely rationalization. And it seems to be working. Today I was out in the yard for spring cleaning and the first mowing of the season, meaning I had to rake and then mow around and under the juniper jungle. And I have nary a red spot or bump on any exposed skin! I am planning a strict regimen of gin & tonic this summer, for medicinal purposes naturally. Drink up. It's a jungle out there.