Victoria's Dirty Little Secret

Those bastards in Victoria's Secret's corporate marketing department! They have reeled me in like the unsuspecting fish that I am!! Let me first say that I own only one garment from this retail establishment. And this is how owning one little pair of cotton panties can take over your life. I checked the mailbox. Lying in there was the latest issue of a particular magazine. I brought said magazine into the house to peruse its contents. Before I take a look into any magazine, I first leaf through it and dispose of the many annoying renewal cards and other innocuous advertising inserts. They normally go straight into the recycling bin. For some reason my attention was drawn to a (of course) pink certificate/coupon looking thing. I picked it up off the pile of paper gathering on the table. This innocent postcard sized document entitled the holder to a free pair of VS panties. White cotton panties in various styles and sizes. Something Free!!! my feminine brain screamed. But we all know that nothing is truly free. I tucked the coupon into my purse and forgot about it. Some time later I found myself in a shopping mall and happened to walk past a Victoria's Secret store. Hmm. Did I still have that free panties coupon? Indeed I did and the expiration date was only days away. I ventured inside, scooped up a pair in the high-cut style and waited in the check-out line. I glanced down at the panties (free!!) in my hot little hand. Seven dollars and fifty cents! The price for owning these panties was seven dollars and fifty cents! And I, feeling quite smug at the moment, was going to get them free. The salesgirl wrapped them in pink tissue paper and tucked them into an adorable little shopping bag. She rang up the coupon, beamed at me as she handed over the bag, and insisted that I have a nice day. That was fun, I thought. A few days later I wore the VS white cotton panties. They were so comfortable! Stayed put, didn't ride up, fit me juuuust right. I've worn them several times. They launder up just dandy and they never spend much time at all in the drawer until I simply must wear them again. And I've been thinking. What if I had a whole drawer full of them! I could be in VS heaven every day! I can't believe that my own frugal self is considering investing in a week's worth of panties at seven fifty a pop! Which brings me back to those merciless bastards in their marketing department. Just give her one pair free. Then she'll be hooked. And come back for more. I'll bet they've jacked up the price to fifteen bucks. Pernicious panty pushers!