Sunday, April 8, 2007

Contemplating the LDR

Let's consider the Long Distance Relationship. Hereafter referred to as the LDR. Not that I'm in one, just pondering the possibilities with the insight of having been in one before. And my conclusion is...I don't know! The monkeys in my head are running free with all kinds of ideas, theories, postulations and premature conclusions. I knew I shouldn't have had jellybeans as a breakfast appetizer! Sugar and caffeine are a dangerous concoction when imbibed by hyperactive monkeys. They're resting right now, victims of that old insulin-rebound drowsiness, so that I may type in peace for a few moments. Yes, the LDR. I'm contemplating the possibility of the LDR as a result of having met the college professor/punk rocker last weekend. Hereafter referred to as the CPPR. And after an hour-long phone conversation with him on Friday evening...which touched on the subject of the LDR...this is what I know. The LDR with no end in sight can be a dealbreaker. On the other hand, the LDR with the flexibility/possibility of one of you moving is workable. The LDR where one of the parties is whiny/high maintenance can be a dealbreaker, not to mention seriously annoying. The LDR where both parties have lives to tend to, juggle and manage bring to the relationship a certain confidence and willingness to compromise. Two people with otherwise full and satisfying lives can make room in said lives for a significant relationship whether the significant other lives around the block or across the state. This one last thought I know is true. Primarily because I have lived it. Four hundred miles is manageable when the two people involved have their eyes wide open and choose to make the effort. I have lived with an insurmountable measure of emotional distance sleeping in the same bed with me. And that is a chasm wider and chillier than the width of this state. And I hesitate to bring up the dreaded L word at this point because we're not in that particular neighborhood nor is it nearby. But I don't have another word that will suffice in its stead. I do not believe that love conquers all, fixes all, excuses all or heals all. But I do believe that when two people come to the conclusion that they indeed love each other and want to include each other in their lives...that love can be an unstoppable force that takes on a life of its own and makes things fall into place. And I held that particular belief long before I met the CPPR.

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