My Fake Boyfriend

He's getting a little uppity because I don't seem to take our fake relationship as seriously as he would like me to. Let me introduce to you my fake boyfriend, "Blind Orange" Julius. Some people have imaginary friends. I have a fake boyfriend. He's much lower maintenance than any real boyfriends I've had, so that's a point in his favor. It's not a deeply satisfying relationship, but as fake relationships go, at least we're calling it what it is and subsequently have few expectations. Although I am a little miffed that I received no fake Valentines from him last week. Not that I made any sort of fake effort on his behalf. BOJ and I met way back in August of 2004 at the open mic at Cheers in Rapid City, SD. The primary things I remember about making his acquaintance are that he was impressed that I knew that zymology is the science of brewing beer and that I told a very funny story involving the word weeniecheeks. I'm not sure about the spelling but I remember very clearly that upon hearing the word BOJ narrowly avoided spewing beer out from his nose. He was in a band called Patient 957 and he and bandmates and various other characters were seated together swilling beer and doing other guy stuff. I was the only feminine person at the table and they did little to alter their guy behavior in my presence. I took this as a sign that they trusted me and had included me in their little club. It was an odd evening for me, I was there with my real boyfriend, and it was all a little awkward because both of us were married at the time. But to people other than each other. I decided to have a good time anyway and consumed a couple of Boulevards. Told a couple of amusing stories. Was generally my charming and disarming self. Little did I know that later I would track down BOJ, first on the AcrossRoads website, and then later at The Globex Corporation Newsletter. I posted comments and he soon determined I was someone he knew. Sometime last fall we became involved in this fake relationship, so here and now I would like to officially acknowledge BOJ as my fake boyfriend. I post on his blog as that1gal, and I suppose that's who I will always be to him. I'm currently torn as to whether I can continue with the stress of living a double, or maybe more correctly, a triple life. There are also those who know me as Tink, but I tink that's all I should say for now.