Saturday, May 20, 2017


1. The basement carpet still has wet, squishy areas.

2. Item 1 persists despite wet-vaccing, towels weighted down on said wet areas, fans blowing, furnace cranked up, and strategically placed Damp-Rid bags.

3. Due to Items 1 and 2, it's clear I need to purchase a dehumidifier today.

4. I'm convinced that I am compelled to accomplish Item 3 as punishment for staying on budget this month.

5. My cat is a total asshole.

6. After checking the long-term weather, the plants get to spend one more night in the garage.

7. My wireless thermometer is malfunctioning. It is perpetually stuck at 68 degrees.

8. If I had relied on my thermometer, I would have neglected to move my plants inside to avoid the freezing temps and snow.

9. I have had the phone number for a highly recommended massage therapist for over a week.

10. Considering my cranky neck and left shoulder, in reference to Item 9, someone please explain to me why I have not called her and made an appointment.

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