Thursday, March 23, 2017

Fodder for Free

A couple of weeks ago, after a trip to my neighborhood King Soopers, I was in the midst of the unbagging and putting away portion of the task. Lurking in the bottom of one of the bags were a couple of laundry detergent pods. I figured the person ahead of me in line had been shorted them so I rolled up the bag and set them aside with the intention of returning them on my next trip. Which was today. When I got in line for customer service, there was only one person ahead of me who was currently being served. I was busy complimenting myself for my exquisite timing as a half dozen more people lined up behind me. The woman behind the counter gave me the stinkeye over her glasses and asked that I move back behind the sign until it was my turn. I half-smiled at her as I backed up a couple of feet. There was no line, or a sign that I could see indicating how far back I should be, so I stopped within a reasonable distance of the next person behind me in line. When my turn came up, I handed over the bag containing the detergent pods and explained what had happened. As she pulled them from the bag, she began shaking her head. These are samples we have been giving out, don't you want them? I replied, no, thank you, I don't use fabric softener. By this time she was scowling at me and waggling them at me. They're free! No thanks, I said once more and caught her in the act of a massive eye roll when I looked over my shoulder as I walked away. I sincerely hope that whomever ends up with the free samples enjoys them. If Ms Customer Service was having a bad day, that's understandable. If she has this sort of attitude in general, I hope she finds employment better suited to her sour demeanor. Mostly I just hope I never end up in her line again. Maybe it's just me. I'm a human lightening rod. Or as Reid is fond of saying, Mom, you're a bitch magnet. I remain convinced that as a writer, I need weird stuff to happen to me. So I have things to write about. It's a vicious cycle.

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