Approximately a dozen feet to my right there is a radon detection device. Just sitting there silently judging me. I am warily keeping my distance. But I wonder what sort of things might affect its functionality thus skewing the test. I am not inclined to toss back a couple of shots of tequila and breathe over it. But what if the cat walks by with his cloud of feline biomass trailing along? What if my son eats a particularly garlicky dinner that renders him gaseous beyond the norm? What if I burp? What if cattle suddenly stampede through the family room? What if there is a gas leak in the neighborhood? Why does this bother me so much? Sometime tomorrow the home inspector will arrive to pick it up and determine the results. Let's all cross our fingers for a zero radon result, shall we?