1. Amazon has sent me an email informing me of terrific savings on baby clothing and associated gear.
2. In reference to Item 1, I expect they think I am expecting because a couple of months ago I purchased a baby gate.
3. In reference to Item 2, I bought the gate to confine Newton to a certain area of the house.
4. In reference to Item 3, Newton is a cat, not a baby.
5. In reference to Item 4, Newton would resist in ball-of-knives fashion to being dressed up in baby clothes.*
6. In reference to Item 5, I am not likely to purchase baby clothes for Newton because I would like to avoid a trip to the ER.
7. Newton might, however, enjoy toys or other baby equipment, like a swing, if I were to purchase them for him.
8. In reference to Item 7, Newton has demonstrated high resistance to playing with things that were purchased specifically for that application.
9. In reference to Item 8, I have considered when bringing home, for instance, a new scratching post for Newton that I instruct him to not touch it, this is a very expensive decorative item that is for my enjoyment, not his.
10. Doesn't Amazon realize that I returned the gate over a month ago?
*Any sort of clothing, actually.