Man, this fork in the road looks familiar. The emotional side of my brain is asking a multiplicity of most likely unanswerable whys. Why, why, why? Like a five year old hopped up on Twizzlers and glazed donuts. When I know that I need to listen to the rational side of my brain. Which is saying, quietly but firmly, you may never know why. Never. And you must accept this. If you do receive an answer to these plaintive queries, it will arrive only in a moment of peace, never when you are in the midst of turmoil. True understanding follows acceptance, not insistence. I need some stillness. I need some quiet. Deep breath.