Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Ready! Set! Wait....

Yesterday was an odd sort of day. Not just because it was the seventeenth and seventeen is an odd number and all. But because it was St. Patrick's Day and I had already celebrated the day when everyone is Irish on Saturday. And because it was my ex's wedding anniversary. There's nothing odd about that except for the fact that it reminded me that it has been two entire years since I have seen Michael and Liz! My firstborn and Darling Dilly live just too far away. And while I am in the midst of planning a move closer, I no longer have a timeline for it. I simply have a list of to-do's that must be accomplished before I can move. Odd because it marked the ninth anniversary of the beginning of the darkest, bleakest stretch of time I have ever experienced. For six months I would live inside a well of depression that required counseling and some serious self-examination to extricate myself from. I find myself feeling grateful that I can't truly recall how awful I felt. Like physical pain, emotional pain takes its toll at the time, but cannot be summoned back through memory alone. At the same time, even though I still feel as though I'm living in limbo, I'm happy to say that my life is most definitely not on hold. I make plans! Like getting together with my dear sisters Martine and Pam next month. I continue to work as much as my limiting hands will tolerate on small home projects. It's slow but sure progress as I go through and pare down belongings to a more manageable for moving purposes volume. Today feels much less odd. My kitchen has finally returned to a normal, all cleaned up state after Pi(e) Day festivities. For the most part I have recovered from the nasty cold that had me in its evil clutches for well over a week. After the last week of springlike weather where I even washed my car, winter has returned with a vengeance of wind and snow that has traffic at a standstill just north of here. On the plus side, it's Emma's birthday and she will be bringing treats to trivia tonight. And I noted last evening at 7:30 that it was still light outside. The day after tomorrow Spring officially arrives. I am ready! For sandal weather. Hammock weather. Mojitos on the deck weather. But mostly I am ready for a break from this limbo. Until then, I remain my spunky, ornery self. 

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