Thursday, December 6, 2012

Fifty Shades of Boring

I tried to read it. Really, I tried. I got halfway through the first book and just could not will myself to go on. Maybe it was that I got annoyed with how they addressed one another so formally after having seen one another naked. Or that I was annoyed with her frivolous conversations with her inner goddess, a concept I take seriously. Perhaps because I think I've pretty much figured out how every single plot point gets resolved and didn't have the patience or attention span for two and a half more books. Wait, maybe it's because I dated a guy who wanted me to spank him and I thought that was about as erotic as cold mashed potatoes. Oh, and are we truly expected to believe that anyone could attain a college degree in the post-2000 era without owning a computer? It's poorly written, the characters are one-dimensional and I didn't care if they fell off a cliff into oblivion! It's filled with cliches that aren't interesting, blah, blah, blah. Maybe it's due to the fact that much of what is wildly popular, be it movies, books, television shows, fashion, simply does not engage me. Of course it has occurred to me that maybe I'm seething with jealousy and envy because I'm not a published author! Yet. No, that's not it. I feel that way when I wish I'd written something because it's so good, funny, eloquent, smart, fresh, brilliant, evocative. You can't make me read this trilogy. Not even if you tie me up with expensive ties or silk scarves and do unspeakably naughty things to me. 

5 comments:

Jacquelineand.... said...

Thank you! I was given the first book for my birthday and couldn't finish it...immature, whiny, and with a side of 'oh I'm so clever to write something sooo risque'.

Ew.

Bleagh.

Can I get that wasted time back?

Bellona of Avalon said...

No, thank you, J!!

I meant to say in the post that I'm not the least bit squeamish about sex. I'm a certified pottybrain. So that's not a problem. Like my friend Lisa, I have a festival of lechery going on in my head pretty much 24/7.

Let's attempt to recoup that time by reading something really good. Or eating chocolate. Maybe do both at the same time.

Sara Mae said...

I just wished they'd quit talking, thinking, reflecting and have more sex. That's really the only reason I read it. When they thought or talked during sex- B-O-R-I-N-G.
On a lighter note- even the author thinks the books are lame, and cannot believe people are going so crazy over them. I saw an interview- she made me laugh. She definitely is not taking herself too seriously!

Eclectic Bohemian said...

Thank all THREE of you! All of my female friends loved it. For the life of me I don't know how or why!

Horribly written and I'm still baffled that it has done so well.

Bellona of Avalon said...

Love the supportive comments!

But it would be interesting to hear from someone who enjoyed the book(s), particularly since they are so popular.

I'm happy to hear that the author is surprised at her great success. Though I would wonder why she submitted work that she considered "lame" for publication.